Trust

     Through much sacrifice and difficulty the universe tried to warn me about a seemingly unendurable fate. It was a fate that I ultimately chose, but one that began to influence me on the day I was born. 

     People tried to tell me by use of example not to trust certain people of influence. Some of them were willing to sacrifice their reputations to warn me about the medical profession and abuse of power. 

     People often try to steal things that are not theirs. They do it because that is who they are. Evil influences them more than good. They are more concerned with the I in the self rather than the truth. There were some people that stole something from me that was meant to be a gift. They did this so that their children could profit through my gifts. They abused what they stole so that I myself was influenced by their selfishness and greed. They might defend themselves saying that children should not be judged by the father's actions. Yet it is sometimes the children and the children's children who abuse the opportunities they are given. Always these people could make a better choice. 

     Theft and abuse of power cannot cleave to love and life to function. Theft and greed mixed with love and life is simply not a working model. 

     I am not the one to decide on the fate of others. I will say that I give permission for any evidence to come forward to bring these abuses to light. Let the law decide on the fate of those who have hurt and abused me and my children. I want the evidence to come to light for myself and my children who suffered in the hands of evildoing. I want justice to be served for all victims who suffer in the hands of those who are so greatly influenced by evil. 

     I chose my family of origen. I did not choose the family I married into, I was drawn to them through the influence of evil and could not help but show up in their lives. The did not appreciate who I was. This often happens to young women who marry before they understand who they are. It can happen in arranged marriages also. My friends and their children and my children tried to show me by example the mistake I had made in marrying into that family. For ultimately it was my mistake. I knew for certain at one moment the night before my wedding. At one moment it became clear when an old friend called out a song to be played by the band at my rehearsal dinner. The song was New York, New York, usually sung by Frank Sinatra. I was profoundly embarrassed as I realized my mistake. I felt it was too late to call off the wedding. I was wrong. If I had only confided in my sister she would have convinced me and taken my side. She would have helped me to fix everything. 

Copyright Diana Peate Semlear