Bullying and Where it Starts Sometimes

        My ideas should not include the free will of my friends and family. I don't have the right to decide the fate of another individual. Many of you taught me that by showing me how my much power words have. No one should say two sisters cannot talk no matter what the circumstances. No one should decide that a family should not talk to an individual member because they have some bad habits. No one should stop talking to a friend because she embarrassed them. 

     I stopped talking to people who bullied me. Even though she said she was sorry later it messed me up and hurt me when my best friend in childhood teased and hurt my feelings time and time again. It's not ok to forgive and forget something like that. I buried my hurt and anger to the point I could not identify where this was coming from. I was already very shy and this pushed me into a shell that was difficult to break out of. There are many reasons why I did not trust myself and my instincts. I learned to hate myself because my first best friend that was a girl and her neighbors teased me. 

     There were a group of girls who were mean to me in Jr. High. They threatened to beat me up. One of them had befriended me for a few months but the leader of the group disliked me for some reason and picked a fight with me over taking a seat in class that she decided was hers.  I lied a few years ago saying they beat me up. Emotionally they did. They would follow me through the halls at school in between class periods and ask me if I was on the rag and call me a lez (lesbian) I had no idea how they knew I had crushes on girls. Now I know they were just trying to get under my skin. They scared me because their group really did have fights. They were bullies. One of them is doing good work now so I suppose she is really a better person now. She teased me in high school as well. 

     I often arranged for Sarah to play with a girl that was mean to her. I did this because her mother pressured me into it. I thought the mother was my friend. 

Copyright Diana Peate Semlear